Cross Fit by Jesus (CrossFit parody) {The Kloons}


You’ve heard of CrossFit but have you
heard of Cross Fit? Hi. I’m JC. Founder of the miraculous new workout regime that’s sweeping the developed world. When I first started Cross Fit it wasn’t
necessarily by choice. But pretty soon I realized that my biggest burden was also my biggest opportunity. With our patented 100% mahogany Holy Cross all you have to do is strap it to your back. The cross does the rest. Cross Fit literally changed my life. I had been looking for years
knowing that there was more and then this thing showed up at
my door and I finally saw the light. The CrossFit training regime centers around our signature exercise, The Cross Walk. Walking for only eight hours a day, six days a week, you too can have the body of an angel. I have no idea how it works but I feel guilty when I’m not walking and that motivates me. The Cross Walk truly is the Holy Trinity of exercises. It hits the chest, abs, and arms
all at the same time. With Cross Fit you can turn every daily routine into a divine calorie burning experience. I lost 23 pounds in 23 months
that’s literally unbelievable. They say we all have our own crosses to bear. it’s just that when I bare mine engage my obliques. My dad got me into CrossFit when I was really young. He said it was super cool.
It’s super cool. it’s a little unorthodox and some might find it offensive but you tell me, You can join the fastest-growing fitness community and have your very own cross shipped right to your door. …and take up your cross today. Cross Fit works. You’ll just have to take my word for it.

99 Replies to “Cross Fit by Jesus (CrossFit parody) {The Kloons}”

  1. After starting this routine I'm totally addicted to cross fit. I always have to get my daily fix. My daily CRUCI-fix that is!

  2. How do I order myself one of these badboys? Thinking about introducing this to my local parish cause they're all so boring.

  3. I was a subscriber of yours and thought thee work you did was cool.After seeing this, I'm unsubscribing and will never view your videosagain. That was very inconsiderate of the religions of others andwas very distasteful.

  4. WOW….let's make fun of Jesus some more huh? I feel so sorry for everyone involved in this video blaspheming the Lord. Jesus is Lord! Please make Jesus your Lord and Savior….He loves you, He was sent by God over 2000 years ago to pay for your sins so that you can have eternal life and I know this…is breaking His heart. Please repent and turn your lives over to God.

  5. I called NOW and I didn't receive the Cross Fit Exorcism Training Book.
    What the fuuck dude ?!

  6. ok hey most of us wear a cross around there neck how is that any different from carrying a cross thats not even the exact size on your back, using it as a workout device so, what you need to know is that Jesus forgave us all he loves you as long as you have jesus in your hear and the spirit we hardly ever talk about the spirit but this thing is not blasphemous think about it its no different than wearing a cross around your neck practically the same but thats my opinion. I actually feel like getting this myself.

  7. All my life I had been carrying stone tablets up and down mountain sides; consider me converted. Thanks guys. You nailed it!

  8. The cross fit can totally be my sword the down part is the blade the upper part is the Handle and the sides are idk

  9. Humor is different. You should always keep a certain amount of humor without irony and sarcasm. For too much seriousness dries up the soul and the heart, and is one of the reasons why discussions with religious topics escalate. And remember, too, that there were people who feel hurt, insulted, and provoked by the mockery or denial of their God, but that God never said ''Stop it, i feel provoked, hurt and insulted'' SO STOP SPEAKING FOR YOUR IMAGINARY FRIEND!, so either he is completely indifferent or he is only one Invention.

  10. "We Christians are not selling a product. We are communicating a lifestyle."

    Automatically this lifestyle came into mind.

  11. ROFLMAO 😅
    Please don't forget, the Son of God has His choice of any Crossover SUV , to ship you're Crossfit 😲
    He is able to lease it,
    but must release it.
    (after the 3rd day)
    I also have a strong feeling his workout song is "Jesus, He Knows Me" by Genesis.
    Peace ✌

  12. ROFL 😄
    Thank you for posting this.
    That's cuz when Jesus walked on water, He got eaten by a shark. 😨.. 🐟
    Dead Sea Scrolls anyone?
    The body of Christ,
    Now that's recycling ♻
    Read, eat, digest, repeat.👍😁
    Peace ✌
    P.S. Wine is on sale at my local grocery store on a weekly basis.
    "In God We Trust" Funds.
    Have a great day! 🌈⛅

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